


I never saw them at all, til there was you (it's called wearing your glasses)

by lover_of_blue_roses



Series: Smile Week 2020 [3]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: 'Comedy', (points for trying pls), Bodyswap, Dumbasses, Gen, One Shot, Shenanigans, Swearing, freaking out, smile week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:28:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23165506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lover_of_blue_roses/pseuds/lover_of_blue_roses
Summary: Brian wakes up in not his body and finds out the rest of the band is having the same morning as him. Shenanigans ensue.
Series: Smile Week 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1662739
Comments: 10
Kudos: 24
Collections: Smile Weekend





	I never saw them at all, til there was you (it's called wearing your glasses)

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Body swapping

Brian doesn't know what's happened to him when he wakes up, is it a brain injury or some sort of side effect from alcohol? He doesn't remember anything from last night except that Elijah and Rowan got into their heads that they wanted to mess around in the experimental physics lab. Brian can hope that nothing went too wrong as he woke soundly in a bed, even if it is not his own.

His eyes don't seem to be functioning, unable to focus on anything but he feels whole and hale, nothing stiff, no pain anywhere, so that's already better than anything. If only he could figure out what's happened to his eyes. Could he somehow be forming cataracts this quickly despite his age, and don't those dim vision rather than blur it?

Despite this not being his flat it's a tiny bedsit so he's easily able to find the bathroom to look in the mirror. And that- That is when he sees it. "The fucking holy shit!" He screams in a voice that is not his own as he looks at a reflection that is not his own, backing up so suddenly he slams himself into the doorknob. When he gets his hands on his fellow students, he's going to wring their necks but not before they fix this.

"Aaah, fuck." He doesn't normally swear this much but this is definitely the right occasion to be doing it. He takes a moment to inhale deeply and tries to calm himself. It doesn't feel like Roger's consciousness is subdued in this mind, which leads him to conclude that it's most likely that Roger is in his body. But fucking hell, he has an important quiz in one of his classes today.

He- fuck- anyways, just needs to try his best to problem solve this, is there any way to convince his professor he's ill? He- Okay, okay, getting this worked up and anxious is generally not a good idea but Roger's body is taking it even harder than his. Is it because Brian's is use to that much stress or is it a question of brain chemistry or structure somehow? That's despite the point- He finds Roger's rotary and dials his own number.

He shouldn't- but good god damn is it not terrifying to hear his own voice pick up the phone but now what? He didn't plan this through at all, what is he just going to say, "Hi I'm looking for my body is Roger there?"

When Brian doesn't say anything, his own voice asks, "Hello, is anyone there?"

"I- Uh, yeah, it's-" Fuck but how does Roger normally address him? Normally as 'what's up bitch when are you gonna be done nerding about.' Let's see if he can't go for something more neutral but vague. "Yeah, it's me, I was wondering if we could talk, face-to-face?" God, Brian leans his head against the door, he sounds like he's going to break up with him, or worse, kick him out of the band. 

"Roger? I- No I can't talk today- Well, not really- It's just um... been weird, I don't imagine you've talked to Tim this morning?"

"Tim? No why, has something happened?"

Brian can hear his own voice laughing at him but somehow it doesn't sound anything like him, in fact that stato voice which sounds rather like... "Tim?"

"I assume this is Brian?" His own voice retorts.

"I-Yeah," Brian bangs his head against the wall for good measure- well, not actually his head.

"Soo..." Tim starts awkwardly.

"I- Look I don't know what happened, I don't remember anything of last night past Elij- Some mates from the physics department trying this experiment. I, obviously, want it fixed as soon as possible, but I- I have a quiz today in class and, ideally until I get this fixed, I'd like you to attend my lectures and take notes, please." 

"I'm probably gonna bomb the quiz, I'm an art student, not to mention my score in college level physics let alone uni."

"Look, I-" But holy shit does Roger's body seem to be wildly out of his control as tears came quickly to his eyes. "As terrible as that would be, the alternative is a doctor's note and I don't what you doing anything to my body that would actually convince a doctor. And some of it is multiple choice so the hope is that some, tiny amount of credit, like 25% will still be better than a zero." 

"Uhhhhh," Brian can hear his own obnoxious voice, as bad as it was on a recording, not to mention he knew what Tim was about to say and statistics like that only working on a large scale but fuck did he not want to hear it right now. God is this how Roger feels all the time?

"Look, just please listen to me and do this," Brian starts before giving off the instructions as to wear Tim can find the notebook where his lecture notes are kept, the bare bones basics of what he's going to need for the quiz and hell even the where and when his classes are.

"And after this call-" God this call has been going on forever this phone bill is going to be killer, he's going to be eating canned beans for weeks, "You'll check up on me." 

"Yeah, yeah," Brian answers as he presses down on the receiver. The day has barely started and he's so ready for it to be done. He can't even mope about by looking out the window because he can't see out the window. And he can't find Roger's glasses, again also because his vision is so poor but he can't help his vision without his glasses. Do you see his problem? Probably better than he does.

Brian lets out another meaningful sigh before softly cursing under his breath and dialing Tim's number, only to get no answer. Unsurprisingly Roger, that charming bastard, had managed to sweet talk himself into later classes and so he never had to wake up earlier than ten unless he was hosting his clothing booth with Freddie. The solution- the real one, was to go to Tim's flat and knock on the door but honestly Brian was terrified at the idea of navigating the bustling city streets without being able to see. 

Best was probably just to wait an hour and try calling him back, because anyways it's not like this body was missing out on anything right this second, but fuck just thinking about Tim bombing his test was depressing. First order of business is a tinkle because his- this body's bladder is killing him. He tries not to notice how big or rather not big Roger's is in his hand. 

After washing up he decided a fry up might cheer him up but when he stuck his head into Roger's pantry and stuck his head close enough to read the labels, he saw a whole bunch of nothing. No crackers or rusk, no canned anything not even beans or tomato sauce, no rice no pasta, no eggs, and the fridge was just as empty. 

With nothing to eat and nowhere to go Brian decided he'd go and have a lie in, which could have potentially been restful if Roger did not live over a busy street with windows that were flooded in with an obnoxious amount of light. He didn't have to sleep, he could have just rested there but he found that boring. Boring and depressing, it gave him far too much time to well upon all the 'what-ifs' and imagine more and more elaborate doomsday scenarios. Until it simply became a question of would he rather wait and do nothing, allowing his fears to mount or brave going out into the world.

He waited another hour because Brian doesn't generally like dealing with unfamiliar situations, who does, which was compounded by the idea that no soul might well have ever gone through such a situation. Except for Tim who was currently inhabiting his body and hopefully not failing a test, the bassist was at the very least trying his best to take dutiful notes.

Anything would probably be better than moping about, probably, so he should really go out and do that. He dresses in Roger's clothes from the day before and thinks he looks ridiculous in this color combination but also to be fair, it does feel really pleasantly silky smooth against his skin. Wandering without being able to see was strange but aside for having to ask strangers, complete strangers he was just imposing upon, for help reading the numbers on the bus stop, he was able to find his way to Tim's. He was greatly helped by the fact he had been to Roger's and Tim's flat before, if he had been asked to go somewhere knew, he probably would have chickened out. 

And nearly didn't, well right up until the moment he had knocked on Tim's door. God what if it was Tim that answered it because it was actually some stranger inhabiting his body, or worse still, what if it was Elijah currently failing his Thermodynamics class. That fucker.

Tim's body answered the door but Brian didn't know what to say, thankfully he didn't need to as the voice spoke, "Nice to know I really do look that good."

And Tim was checking out his body, which was really Roger checking out his own body but Brian felt a little odd and violated and also deeply wondering the ethics of having sex in a body that wasn't yours. "I couldn't find your glasses," Brian starts as though to defend himself before pivoting to his actual excuse, "You weren't answering your phone."

"My phone?" Roger blinks at this answer before nodding, "Of course, Brian please come in. Please explain to me how you aren't a mad scientist and how you plan on fixing this." Ah right, he hadn't started with any explaination. 

"In my defense," Oh there was going to be a lot of that today huh. "I didn't do this- I mean I don't think I did- I doubt it. I don't actually remember anything from last night but I'm like 80% confident it's all Rowan and Elijah's fault."

Roger squints his eyes or at least that's what Roger's poor visions seems to be implying to Brian. "Guy that 'accidentally' build a bomb?"

"Legally it was an incendiary device," Brian corrects automatically, and it had been as accidental as Roger flirting with Freddie's sister, which is to say not very. Rowan was both too clever and too cruel to have only 'accidentally' set fire to his most despised professor's office. 

"Right," Roger slowly nodded, and somehow it appeared very clear to Brian that had known Tim for several years now, that the body language was all wrong. "So what's the game plan going forward?"

Brian locked his fingers and very carefully didn't say, 'I have no idea.' "Tim is currently attending my classes, he didn't tell me to tell you to attend his so it must be fine, I have a quiz I can't miss. So I think its best if we meet up on campus, this will also allow me to see if there any clues or trace evidence of what occured in the lab, maybe even bump into one of those wankers."

Again Roger nodded guzzling down some tea, "Okay, lets go." And Roger stood up as though he was going to leave the flat like that- wearing *that.* Brian had dressed in Roger's clothes from the day before as to avoid any of this. If the body language and speech patterns weren't a big enough clue... Brian looked up and down Tim's body, for once not appreciating the man but appraising him and his 'reputation' wondering if it was worth dying on this hill. 

Well maybe just a little. "I think you should wear the bomber jacket, more Tim's style," and black just goes better with everything. 

Roger scoffed and it comes out all wrong for Tim's tone and inflection, "This is from his wardrobe."

There's no doubt that's true, "But would Tim wear it like that?"

Roger threw up his hands in defeat, knowing when an argument is not worth it and stomped over to change. It was the small victories that counted, or was that only when dealing with toddlers. 

Soon they had made their way to Imperial. They didn't have to wait for long until a frazzled, haggard Brian May made their way to them. "Well at least he's doing his part to look like you," Roger said half teasingly. 

Tim collapsed on the bench next to them in a rather un-Brian like manner. "That. Was. Terrible." He tries to rake a hand through his hair but only serves to agitate Brian's hair into an even bigger mess. Brian just sighs, Tim might have showered his hair under hot water, not that it's not capable of looking that unruly by itself. "I don't know if I bombed it, I did my best I swear, I looked over your lecture notes and the study packet but I had like a hour and it didn't all make sense to me, I-"

Roger, unmindful that he is currently wearing Tim's body, places a comforting hand on the art student's shoulder, and stares him down wit his own brown eyes. Tim stops speaking looking at him in almost stunned horror. It's not that he's not fine looking, because he is, all clean lines and sharp angles, it's that it's *his* face, *HIS OWN* face. If victims of burglaries feel violated he doesn't have words for how this feels.

Tim turns to Brian, who blubbers out, possibly in what he hopes is a comforting manner, "Honestly even a 30% will be leagues better than a 0% and that's really what matters."

Tim just blinks, takes a deep breath and ignores all of that. As devastating as Roger's beauty was in someone that was confident and aware of exactly how good he looked, it's also somehow really working with someone that is shy and naively unaware. But he really shouldn't be focusing on that, there's only one thing they all should be focused on, "Can it be fixed?"

"I-I'm not sure yet, we just got here so I haven't had time to search not to mention I need my- Brian's lab pass."

Tim's brow puckers as he hands over Brian's bag, "What do you mean you only just got here?"

"I- I didn't know what else to do, Roger doesn't have any classes and I didn't particularly want to walk around with his face if I didn't have to."

"Yeah, he doesn't make for a great me," Roger chimes in and Tim can hardly define it for how his eyes seem completely unable to focus to say nothing of the startlingly different body language. 

"What you been doing Rog?" Tim asks as Roger starts to smile widely.

"Mate, mate, mate," Tim watches mildly horrified as his body bounces like a toddler on a sugar rush and his own face breaks out in what can best be described as ecstatic evil. "You didn't tell me you were so hung." Oh God. They hadn't swapped bodies, Tim had died in some horrible, horrific accident and this was to be his torment from kicking puppies in a previous life. He can feel his jaw is dropped and his mouth hangs wide open but a quick look at Brian says that he's no better off. 

"I woke up with this throbbing wood, and 'course I didn't realise anything was different so I just slide a hand down my pants and good God man, why didn't you tell us you were huge." Brian wonders what 'huge' means and how many erect cocks Roger could have possibly seen in his life, because its possible that if Roger was using his as reference that it was skewing the standard. Brian had only seen Roger's soft for example just this morning when he had to piss but he's really pretty sure that Roger isn't that much of a grower.

Rather than begin to address, say the gross invasion of privacy this whole line of discussion entails Roger just continues plowing forward, "And Christ Tim your room is so tidy."

"I- That's because I can see the mess," Tim answers back rather numbly, their normal teasing falling flat. Between the important quiz he just crammed and this, he's starting to look a little wide-eyed. 

"Let's see if we can't fix this then," Brian announced with a clap as he jumps off the bench but damn is Roger's body perky as he bounces so much he nearly over balances. 

"Have you noticed," Roger asks as they walked related to Brian's literal faux-pas, "That despite our changed proportions we seem rather well coordinated, didn't have to relearn how to walk with these different length limbs." They nod thoughtfully as they head towards the physics building. Roger mulls over possible hypotheses, looking for that most crucial aspect: falsifiability. "But then are we saying that while our minds transferred our bodies kept, some amount of muscle memory, like if I were to write is it going to be my handwriting or Tim's?"

"Well when I was writing it came out rather like mine than Brian's," Brian can't help but to feel hairy at this, as if being body swapped wasn't enough on a quiz day no less, now he has to worry about being expelled for academic fraud but Tim is quick to comfort him, even if Brian finds his own face no more comforting than Tim did his own. "That's why I made sure to come up to him at the end of the time, wanted him to see my face and have some memory of me really being there; I also laid the groundwork that we are ill and that's why we did so poorly. He was vague and while he made it sound like redoing it was impossible, he said it might be possible to drop our worse grade out of the four quizzes this semester."

"Thanks," Brian says sincerely, he's lucky to have such good friends. "No, really, thank you so much. I know this is- even though I never touched on their stupid machines let alone built it, that we are in this mess because of me, so I'm really grateful that you were able to fill in for me."

"As much as this situation pisses me off, I am aware this is actually not your fault. And I know you'd have done the same for me, hell you would have moved heaven and earth, what are friends for," Tim says as he does his best to adjust to their new height difference and sling an arm around the drummer's shoulders. It's a little odd when he looks to his side and sees his own body but when he's just looking out into the world it's not too bad, not particularly disorienting. If Brian's squinting is anything to go by, this is not a mutual experience. 

Which must be a similar line upon which Roger is thinking, "Bri you mentioned needing glasses as much as I normally do and right now I'm 20/20, so it's safe to say that our senses stayed with our bodies."

"Because they're physical right?" Tim is curious where the biologist's mind is going.

"Right, well I'm thinking the reason we can work these bodies is because proprioception, while not everything is understood about how it works, we do know it's connected to like the central nervous system and the common senses." Tim nods along like this makes sense to him. Roger just laughs and it remains distinctly unsettling to hear his own voice vocalize what is clearly Roger's laugh. 

"Hold on," and Roger stopped their walking. "Close your eyes and touch your index finger to your nose." Tim has been such good friends with him for so long that while he gives him a skeptical look, he also does as asked of him. And finds that he is perfectly capable. It's an interesting phenomenon and so he keeps his eyes shut tight and tries it with his ring and thumb and then his left hand. "Try your elbow," Roger suggested and as easily as he found his nose in the dark, he finds his elbow. 

"Wack," Tim commented, opening his eyes.

"That, proprioception, and muscle memory is probably why we can walk right because just are minds came over not our senses."

"Weird," Tim comments as they continue moving along. He feels like that time Brian used seconds as a scale to explain how big space was, to which the answer was very, uncomfortably, incomprehensibly big. He's kind of happy he's 'just' an art student.

"Yeah, but let's just hope that those tossers that did this to us don't find it interesting too or else they'll probably have a hundred and one tests to figure out where consciousness or the soul or whatever the fuck swap between us and what's our bodies."

Tim nods rather concernedly, he hadn't even thought of that. Was that why Roger was rather chain smoking so aggressively? Tim is not really surprised that Roger is only faux casual, and that really behind that calm facade that asks odd and deeply personal questions, is someone that is just trying to cope with how horrifying this all is. 

"Well..." Brian struggles to be the optimistic one. 

"At least we have each other," Roger adds with a casual shrug, but fuck is weird that the formation of this band had brought together people that might otherwise have never met or gotten to know each other. 

"Don't plan on letting me go anywhere, my body's far too hot," Tim quipped in hopes to lighten the mood. It works as they chuckle. Even if they don't make it the distance, at least they'll always have the memories of Smile. Unless they get diced up by some physics students as human lab-rats. Guess their about to find out how well pro-pee-a-cep, whatever it's called, allows Roger to throw a punch.


End file.
